day #2

Yesterday was such sadness. I think it was this week last year that the Lions caused me to cry when they lost (and looking it up - yes it was Nove. 2nd week 9 vs. Chicago IN Chicago where we lost 27 - 23 that brought me to actual tears) So apparently about halfway through is a breaking point for me (either that or somethign about this time fo the year causes me to be weepy)

I can't believe we lost to the 0-7 Rams!!!! And it was a full out loss. No one performed good in that game. I'll jump to stafford's defense against all those people calling for his head cuz his receivers dropped some amazing passes, but he still threw some frigging watermelons. I honestly think the only bright spot was our O-line and some of the defense. (it was good to see Ernie Sims out there)

Hubby's Jets lost yesterday too - to the Miami Dolphins - so he was very sad as well.

We rented a horror movie to cheer us up last night, only to realize once we got home that it was one we had already seen. (The Eye 3 - it's a pretty good movie, but the back synopsis didn't say anything about the movie and we're pretty bad sometimes about remember titles cuz we watch so many they kinda all run together) So we had to settle for a flick he got for me to watch "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" with Matthew McConaughey. It was cute. Very predictable of course, but cute. I think my favorite was the ghost of girlfriends past cuz she was just so damn adorable.


I have fallen behind in my bottlecaps for the upcoming shows i have because we ran out of black ink so tomorrow is a crazy day. Altho i'm only doing about 40 caps for this week - mostly Twilight and New Moon cuz it's coming out soon.


Today i seem to have fallen in a funk. I'll get out of it eventually but a song came on the (internet) radio that I hadn't heard in years. Something cheesy and totally 80s and was prolly played at a high school dance i went to (cuz i went to them all - except for the formal ones that is) and it made me think of some boy i was madly in love with back then that i have since reconnected with on FB but he prolly has no idea how much i was crazy about him back then. When i really liked someone i found it really hard to talk to them. They automatically got put on a pedestal and i kinda viewed them from afar most of the time. Or i totally played like i didn't like them at all and they were all just friends.

(side note, i didn't have my first kiss until i went to college)

So yea, then i went down the "if only" road - which i never go down because it's dangerous and I really don't believe in it. I have a philosophy that everything that happened has brought us to where we are now and if even one thing had changed your life could be completely different - and not just your life but YOU as a person. And I generally like myself as a person and i like my life. But right now things are so hard for us i sometimes find it difficult to even get out of bed every day. I love my husband and we'll get through this cuz we love each other and it's only material and monetary worries, but it can get you down.

So combine this all together and you get a lost soul who just wants to leave this world far far behind. One who wishes she could go back in time, even just a few years, and tell this boy as soon as they reconnected how she felt. Or even back to those high school days and let someone into her heart.


wow! this got long! sorry for the personal therapy post! I really should get to working on the house and bottlecaps.



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