thank you so much!!!

I know i didn't need to spell out my life and explain our lives. I feel better for doing it (altho some of the recent blogs may be deleted or put private just because)

We should be getting our craigslist car tonight. I'm happy. 1989 Toyota tercel. it has some issues but it was only $300 so that's good ... and no monthly payments to deal with

I just wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really have the best friends in the world. This whole situation has taken a toll on us and, were we a lesser couple, it could have torn us apart. But we have worked together on this and we will survive.

and on a side note, hubby got a call from J last night (he left a VM) that he drove the truck (that he took) and he got a flat tire.

P.S.

I know i sound like a big fat entitled totally spoiled bitch when I discuss this.

I understand that people count on people making payments. And I never meant to imply that I believe he shouldn't be asking us for his money or that hubby's parents should have just given us the car when we didn't have one last year.

What i DO think is that J has no right to judge us and "teach us a lesson" on how to better manage our money when he has no clue what the hell is going on in our lives financially.

We aren't going out spending tons of cash on shit we don't need. We live very very small. Most of our money goes to hubby's expenses each week getting to and from work. Yes he (and I) smoke, but we've cut down to less than half a pack a day. Yes I play darts on Thursdays, but I spend a grand total of about $15 for that privilege... including the dart league fee. I haven't been grocery shopping in 2 weeks ... and when I went 2 weeks ago I spent about $50. I'm lucky enough sometimes that hubby works in a restaurant and when he can he brings me home dinner. (his employee meal that he didn't eat during the day)

We have a mortgage to pay, heating, water, insurance ... hell we don't even pay any medical insurance out of hubby's check's yet. so gods help us if we get sick.

Our one big splurge (besides my dart night) is football sunday. We spent $$ on the NFl package so we can sit at home and spend minimal $$ to enjoy a quiet day together and feel like we aren't losing out on everything life has to offer.

So when someone who has enough money to own multiple cars and pay for insurance on all of them (and monthly payments ... he only owns 1 outright) tells us that he wanted to teach us a lesson about spending our money more responsibly and then says that the reason he's pissed is cuz us not paying him his money on time caused him to be stretched thin with the new couch and big screen TV he bought for his basement ... and we're sitting on a couch that we got as 3rd generation hand me down furniture that requires a plywood board underneath the cushions so I don't fall in and we're watching a 19 inch television in out living room eating ramen noodles for dinner cuz we can't afford anything else ... well I kinda feel like that's a giant slap in the face to us.

I don't say this to make anyone feel sorry for us. I know that I have friends and know people that are in a similar situation if not worse. I mean at least we have a place to live.

More car update

Looks like we got a car from craigslist. *crossing fingers and toes*

No more dealing with bro-in-law and such.

Last night we went downriver and picked up our stuff from inside the truck. They had put it in trashbags and set it on their front porch.

hubby made a good point when he said it kinda felt like a break-up. Like when you tell your ex "you're stuff will be on the front porch" and they sneak over in the middle of the night to grab it so they don't have to worry about seeing you.

What's done is done.

oh! and J told hubby that the reason he did it was to teach hubby a lesson about $$ and stuff. AND apparently he was waiting outside our house for hubby to come home Monday night. He was pretty proud that he managed to take it from our driveway without us even noticing what was going on. He claims he even turned the lights on while he was backing it out of the driveway. and we didn't even notice (of course that would be because there's a big ass tree right in front of our living room window AND our inside lights were on AND we weren't really expecting to look outside and see our truck driving away)

The day will come when karma will bite them in the ass. I only hope I'm around to see it.

car update

short version - hubby's brother came by last night and took the car back downriver cuz we owe money on it and he lied to us when we called him this morning asking him if he took it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

long version - in order to update you on the car situation I kinda have to backtrack and reveal what's been going on in our lives. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna sound like a whiny little bitch but whatever.

Hubby and I are pretty much barely squeaking by. Due to his long time unemployed and consequent jobs making way less than he was at his previous job,and of course the accident and fees which resulted from it, we fell into a hole. Not one so insurmountable that we couldn't try and get ourselves out of it little by little, but one big enough that at times we've had to figure out which bills we were going to pay each month and which ones we were going to let accrue late fees.

So, after hubby's car accident last year, hubby's family kinda stepped in to offer help. And by help I mean his parents offered to let us buy their car from them cuz they weren't using it anymore (which we couldn't do cuz they owed way more on it than blue book so therefore we couldn't get anyone to agree to give us a loan for the amount they needed) and his brother, J,  offered to let us use his Ford Explorer as long as we made the monthly payments and put the insurance in our name. Since his brother's payments weren't too outrageous we agreed to it.

That was almost a year ago. And we've been pretty decent in payments. But we've fallen behind. I honestly had no idea we were so far behind (we owe for Aug, Sept and Oct). Hubby usually takes care of the finances and, like I said, he's been having to pick and choose what gets paid. Priorities have been to house payments, DTE and water with everything else fitting in where they can.

Add to this the fact that hubby's mom and dad aren't well. his mom has Parkinson's and diabetes and generally doesn't take very good care of herself and his dad has Alzheimer's. And apparently his dad's been getting worse. To the point where a couple weeks ago he had to have exploratory surgery cuz he was hemorrhaging and he's currently in a nursing home. And hubby's mom needs someone to help her with things.

So with these things going on J, his wife, hubby's other bro K, and his wife, have all been taking turns helping out their mom (in-law) and stuff. At one point hubby stayed the night with her, even tho we live 45 minutes away (vs. their 15) because J kept hounding him and telling him it "wasn't fair" that he hadn't helped out at all.

Before you go jumping all over me, I firmly believe parents should be taken care of. But I also believe that it should be a family decision as to how they should be taken care of ... especially if said parent needs so much care that they can't be left alone for any long amount of time and they need help getting dressed/showering/eating.

So when J called me on Friday and left me a message that it "wasn't fair" that hubby wasn't going over to help out mom ("it's his mom too!") or visiting dad ... well I exploded.

And I called up J and basically let him have it with both barrels. Telling him that I didn't care what was "fair". That hubby works everyday and doesn't feasibly have the time to dedicate to helping out like J,K and their wives do. Not counting the fact that we live 3xs as far away as they do....hubby leaves the house every morning around 9Am and doesn't get home sometimes until almost midnight. He only has 1 day off (which he spends most of it sleeping in) and gas until recently has been so expensive we couldn't afford any extra trips. And did I mention hubby works every day sometimes 12-14 hours?

So J counters with "I work every day and J2 works every night and we take care of 3 kids and we still have time to go over and help mom and see dad"

Well you know what? That's great. More power to you for being super people. But don't tell my hubby and me that it's not fair that you're doing this and we aren't.

I also got stupid and brought up that his family didn't help us out at any point in time and we've had to struggle to keep our house and pay our bills but we've managed. And J says "well K hasn't had a job and he's still got his house AND he's helping out with mom" yea? well K's wife has parents who are paying for their house and when K's car took a shit his parents GAVE them their car (you know...the one we had to buy outright) and K didn't pay the note and got it repossessed.

So J brought up that we haven't been paying for our car and I explained that we're doing our best and trying to dig ourselves out of a hole (see beginning of post) and he's all "We're trying to dig ourselves out of a hole too...I'm trying to move my family into a new house."

Sounds great in theory....until you learn that he got a settlement for an on the job injury recently and spent it on 2 motorcycles, 2 cars and an $8,000 landscaping job. Not to mention the $500 Magglio Ordonez autographed plaque featuring the baseball he hit in the ALCS. Yes...he currently has 4 cars (including the one we were using) and a motorcycle ... he got rid of 1 bike about a month ago.)

Then he said some shit and I said some shit (including bringing up how pissed I was that he couldn't be bothered to come to our "day after our wedding picnic" or help us in ANY way for our wedding ... but he took off an entire week to drive down to Louisiana not even a month later to help out some people (who bought their old house) when their daughter got married) And he said he was gonna "repossess" the truck on Saturday.

So I hung up and I cried and called hubby and told him what I did (I was stupid I know) and he told me not to worry about it and that he would take care of everything. And he did. He called J Saturday and talked to him like 3 times and explained that I was frustrated and just trying to stick up for him with the whole "it's not fair" thing and we'll get money to you asap and everything seemed to be fine.

I even suggested to hubby that we go down and see his parents and his brother on Sunday instead of football Sunday cuz I felt really bad about what I had done. Hubby agreed and he also talked to J everyday. As a matter of fact he received a text from J last night around 10:30pm right after he received a phone call (that hubby didn't take) reminding hubby that J2 was gonna be around tomorrow(today) to pick up some money for the truck.

So this morning hubby goes out to go to work and with the truck not there he calls his brother first thing and J denies that he has it.

Later on I receive a phone call from the insurance company stating that the local agent had a message from J stating he had re-taken possession of the vehicle.

After numerous attempts, hubby finally got J on the phone and it was confirmed. And why did he lie to us this morning? He wanted Kevin to sweat like he did waiting for the money each month.

And in the process we filed a false police report and a false insurance claim and cancelled all our checking activity (cuz there was a checkbook in the car)

And apparently the entire family knew this was going to happen. I asked hubby to call his mom to see if maybe she could intervene on our behalf. I don't know, maybe talk J into letting us have the car back on conditions. That's when he told me apparently she knew and did nothing to stop it.

So now we have no car and J wants all the $ we owe before he lets us have it back (and all our stuff is still in it too) and now I know where I stand with his family.

So I say it now, I will never speak to those people or do anything for or with or about them ever again. I am done with his family.

Seriously hating life right now - update

After finally going to sleep around 6am, I woke up around 9am to a frantic hubby. 

Our truck wasn't in the driveway.

His first thought was that his brother had come over and taken the car back (which is a whole other story ... I got pissed and called him and said some things and he got pissy and said he was gonna take the truck back ... I'll explain later) But when he called his brother he founf out that wasn't the case. 

Seems our truck was stolen. From our driveway. Sometime btwn 6Am and 9Am apparently.

After some stressing and me yelling at hubby for not locking the truck, we called the police and the insurance company and got things rolling. We have full coverage and it has provisions for a rental, which is good ... but it takes 48 hours from the time of the incident being reported to get the rental, which is terribly inconvenient.

Fortunately I have a fantastic mother. When I called her to tell her what happened, she left work and brought us her car so hubby could use it to get to work and stuff. We're spending the night at her house 2nite so we can take her to work in the AM and borrow it again tomorrow.

I seriously don't know what we would do without my mother.

So now all we can do it wait. Part of me is hoping they find it (unscathed of course) and part of me is hoping they don't (so we can be out from under hubby's brother's thumb) and all of me is just waiting for the pill I took to kick in so I can take a nap.

update: got a hone call from the insurance claims dept. stating that the local office received a phone message last night from hubby's bro telling them that he had possession of the vehicle. Not sure if this is completely true or what. hubby's bro isn't answering his phone.

Why is it?

That all my awesome blog ideas come in the few minutes between awake and asleep?

I've tried writing things down and recording ideas but the inspiration just isn't there the next day.

Maybe I need to keep the lappie next to me at all times.

An open letter to the Detroit Lions

Dear Detroit Lions,

Please stop sucking

Sincerely,

Jazmyn