How Could You?

By Jim Willis, 2001
Pre-note from Powerpets: This story was one of the first incentives to create Powerpets, to bring attention and awareness to animals

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.

We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and
secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed, "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago.

At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room.

She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago.

She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself --a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.


A Note from the Author:
If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it
did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of
the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American
and Canadian animal shelters. Anyone is welcome to distribute the
essay for a noncommercial purpose, as long as it is properly
attributed with the copyright notice. Please use it to help educate,
on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office
bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to
the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our
love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for
your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or
animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is
precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all
spay and neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals. Jim
Willis

You know what i hate? people who don't leave messages on the answering machine . . . and than they complain that you never called them back! I mean HELLO how do i know you called!?! and don't say Caller ID. That's just durn lazy!!

*ugh* gotta report tomorrow to probation. I'm *HOPING* against hope that he still forgets about my work force duties until at least the next time i report (which hopefully wil be next month).

Had an annoying guy (Kevin called him Keanu cuz he was like Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure) that made this INCREDIBLY stupid blanket statement that all girls didn't read comic books. And i don't, but let me tell you! that is the BIGGEST pet peeve i have of people saying "oh, well you don't do this or like this cuz you're a girl" *grrrrr* I hate people that say that!!!

Neopia is soon to go to war. I'm HOPING that Irvjake is well enough equipped to battle well. ;)

Speaking of Neopets, must go play games. I bought my gallery a spotted PB yesterday & need to recoup some NPs quickly ;) Sweet Dreams!

Okay. I REALLY need to set aside time each day to type in my blog :p~. Now i know why it's taking Anna so long to get her WebSite developed & done. I mean, it was easy to sit here for hours at a time when i had nothing to do but be home when i was on my tether. Now that I'm free, I have things to do. luckily tomorrow all i have to do is catch up a little bit at work & come home & wait for Kevin to call so i can go to pick him up at work. (which is usually around 9:30pm)

Well, last week was a GREAT week for me. First of all, we (me, my mom & Angie) went on Tuesday, Nov. 12th to Football 201 at Ford Field in Detroit. Can you believe it's our 4th year going there?? (angie's 3rd) This year was $15 more than it has been in previous years (Ford Field tax, I'm sure) & there were WAY less women there than last year. I think there were about 700 - 800 women a year ago. This time, I would say there were 200 - 300 TOPS. It was fun tho. Got some REALLY nice pics of Scotty Anderson (#88), Mike McMahon (#8) & Shaun Rogers (#92) and a pic of me & Jim Brandstetter that ideally I'd like to blow up to at least 5" x 7" & take next year to get him to sign it.

And on Thursday was when my mom IM'd me up & told me she heard about Leonard Nimoy being at some Jewish book fair in West Bloomfield. (which it ended up being at the reform temple of Shir Shalom instead).
Apparently his book is EXTREMELY controversial & the book fair booked him prior to seeing a copy of his photography. Once they did, they would have no part of it. Luckily Shir Shalom was willing to host the event. And there might only have been 300 people at the book signing.
Which was wonderful!!! It began with a slide presentation hosted by Leonard Nimoy which was mostly his photographs from Shekhina, but there were a couple from earlier in his career. Just hearing the stories that i knew by heart about him coming straight from his lips (i.e. how he came up with the live long and prosper sign for vulcans) was the most amazing thing i had ever experienced. I mean, seriously, he's a pop icon & a brilliant man with a great knack for storytelling. I was completely awed. AND we got not only a copy of his book signed there, but also a copy of the poster announcing the event. AND i got not only a picture of him, but a picture of me with him!!! i can't wait to get it developed. Actually I'm almost scared to take it in (since we use film cuz we don't have a digital camera yet). Terrified that it might not turn out perfect, ya know??

And then, to top off the week, yesterday (Sunday) we FINALLY had my b-day party at my mom's house (also a Lions Sunday . . . which they lost pathetically . . . and to the Jets no less. I'm never gonna hear the end of it from Kevin) And i got a couple of awesome gifts. Carol & Al bought me the Red Wings Pint glass to complete the Stanley Cup set they had bought me a couple of years ago . . . Kelly bought me a David Craig & a Shakira CD . . . but i think the BEST gift that day was Anna gave me a Starry Scorchio Plushie AND a Scorchio keychain from Limited Too!!! it was just a good week all-in-all.

Of course, Saturday was rather awful, but seeing how it's really close to sleepy-time, i have to share that story another time. Que Lastima!!! ;)