I feel ...

I feel like I have nothing to write about. I know i do. My brain works a million miles a minutes everyday while I'm awake. Even more during that time I'm trying to fall asleep.

Gina wrote in her blog "The magic moment between Wake And Sleep is when it is easiest to see." (taken from L.H. Anderson's blog) And that is oh-so true with me. There are times right in that magic moments when things seem to clear. When I have these epiphanies of what I want to write about, who I am, where my life was, is and is headed ... a myriad of thoughts and ideas pouring into my head which make perfect sense. But alas, I don't have a notebook (or a laptop) next to my bed for quick writing, and even if I did, just in the act of writing down those magic ideas would make sleep even further off and these days it's hard enough to fall asleep.

The other night, for instance, Kevin and I watched "White Noise 2" (which incidentally had almost NOTHING in common with the movie "White Noise" which was in it's favor because that movie didn't live up to it's hype imho) This movie was about NDEs, or Near Death Experiences, and one of it's DVD extras was a feature about people who had experienced NDEs and full of little stats and facts about them. It was really interesting and made me want to rewatch "What the Bleep do we Know" based on some of what the people were saying.

While we were watching this, Kevin and I had a nice conversation regarding death and life after and all that kinda good stuff which I'll elaborate on sometime. It was reminiscent of the night we first met and the deep philosophical discussion we had (in a bar). One of those moments where I am reminded just how much I love this man and how perfect we are together.

But I digress. As a result of this conversation I had a while "essay" written up in my head that night as I was trying to fall asleep...and I'll be damned if I can remember any of it. Needless to say it was absolutely brilliant (as are all things we forget to write down ... think "tribute by Tenacious D)

So on Monday I'm going to invest in a notebook and pens to keep at my bedside. I'm figuring that if I'm going to blog for the rest of the year maybe I can forgo a few hours of sleep in order to get to things that are swirling around in my head. I know I just said sleep in precious to me, but I have a pretty flexible sleep schedule thanks to being a housewife and NOT a mother (unless you count our 2 kitties). And it may just help me find my voice.


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