Culled from a few disparate sources...
A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
We are still pi**ing in the wind.
EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
We know who to blame.
MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
The only person who understood the thing quit.
IT IS IN THE PROCESS
It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.
GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.
GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
I can't wait to hear this bull!
SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
Come into my office, I'm lonely.
ALL NEW
Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
RUGGED
Too damn heavy to lift!
LIGHTWEIGHT
Lighter than RUGGED.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
One finally worked.
ENERGY SAVING
Achieved when the power switch is off.
LOW MAINTENANCE
Impossible to fix if broken.
ENHANCED
We've broken it for real this time.
FEATURE
We can't fix the bug so we've documented it and are calling it a "feature".
NEW RELEASE
We're too cheap to beta test our code so we'll sell it to you as a new product and let y'all beta test it for us.
SYNERGY
Management doesn't have a clue as to what this product is or what they are doing, so they're slinging buzzwords like there's no tomorrow. See also PARADIGM, REVOLUTIONARY and OUTSIDE THE BOX.
"High purity...", "Very high purity...", "Extremely high purity...","Super-purity...", "Spectroscopically pure..."
Composition unknown except for the exaggerated claims of the supplier.
"...handled with extreme care during the experiments."
...not dropped on the floor.
"The Sc+ system was chosen as especially suitable to show the predicted behavior..."
"It has long been known"
I didn't look up the original reference.
"A definite trend is evident"
These data are practically meaningless.
"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions"
An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study"
The other results didn't make any sense.
"Typical results are shown"
This is the prettiest graph.
"These results will be in a subsequent report"
I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
"In my experience"
Once!
"In case after case"
Twice!
"In a series of cases"
Thrice!
"It is believed that"
I think
"It is generally believed that"
A couple of others think so, too.
"Correct within an order of magnitude"
Wrong.
"According to statistical analysis"
Rumor has it.
"A statistically-oriented projection of the significance of these findings"
A wild guess.
"A careful analysis of obtainable data"
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
"It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomena occurs"
I don't understand it.
"After additional study by my colleagues"
They don't understand it either.
"Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions"
Mr. Blotz did the work, and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
"A highly significant area for exploratory study"
A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
"It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field."
I quit.
