I was perfectly fine yesterday. Okay, not fine, but okay. I mean, the best i can be with everything going on around me. Trying not to let the overwhelming stress of life and it's issues weigh me down. So much swirling in my head and around me, sometimes it's hard to breathe.
But i was doing okay.
Today i feel like I've been swallowed whole by a dark cloud of "why go on living". I can't explain it any better than that.
I'm feeling hurt and betrayed by an organization i have tried to help for the last 2 years. And i feel like I've dragged others into my own pit. And i don't know how to fix things.
And, aside from the organization, i feel like I've lost friends. People i thought had my back no matter what. Instead, they've pushed me aside and replaced me with bigger and better.
(Originally written months ago .... accidentally published today)