taking a trip in the way back machine

 The past few days I've been reading some old journals from my past. 1986 - 199 roughly. And a couple of 1991 entries. It's enlightening, embarrassing and ...well mostly embarrassing lol. I was such a child and I had no real social skills to speak of.




Mostly they're all about the boys i "loved" or the money i needed to save or the weight I needed to lose (i weighed 125 lbs at one point and thought i was still fat - i was severely anorexic at that time) And I never had the guts to tell any of the boys that I liked them. The closest I came was a boy when i was a Junior and he was a frosh and i called him my "husband" but we never did anything. And he had a girlfriend that wasn't me.

I also can't believe how i treated prolly the one boy who DID like me when i was in high school. I wish I could go back and just smack myself on the back of the head and tell myself to wake the hell up. Just in general but about that boy specifically. He was everything I wasn't and I think we would have been really great together. oh well.

I"m just thankful that I did meet and make a bunch of friends back then and I'm still friends with them kinda today. And even tho I was a complete social retard back in the day I'm glad i was cuz all the choices I made brought me my hubby. And I love him so.