So, I rented a movie last night to watch today that will HOPEFULLY make me cry rivers & rivers of tears. Why? you ask. Because i feel the need to just cry & cry & cry. I don't know if it's depression, or hormones, or stress, or what. . . but i keep thinking about how the greeks in ancient times used to hold play festivals with like a whole day of tragedies & then a whole day of comedies. They felt that it was cleansing to the person if they had this HUGE emotional outlet. Kinda like "cinematherapy" on the "Women's Entertainment" channel. So i think that's what i need in order to get over this hump. I've been feeling useless & listless & i seriously just wanna sleep. I'm pretty sure, now that i'm writing this out, that it's depression. And probably the whole not being able to sleep thing is stress because it's getting close to when i'm gonna have to do work force here in Wyandotte & i am SO NOT wanting to do that. Not in the least. I can only hope that there's really bad weather on the Mondays I have to do it so that we have to work inside :D (i hope i hope i hope)

You know, sometimes i really miss writing in a journal. the feel of the pen on paper. It was good times to write in there. I can still remember the way i felt when reading the words. Cuz it's not just putting the ideas & thoughts down in permanent form . . . it's kinda the way your handwriting is as well. I could tell if i was happy or sad or hurried or relaxed. you know what i mean? With the computer it's all fine and dandy & i like it cuz i feel like i can write faster (altho I don't write nearly as much as i should), but when i look back on things, altho I can remember kinda how i felt, I don't get that visual affermation. Does that make sense?? I sure hope so. cuz it's 4:30 in the A.M and i STILL can't get to sleep!!!