You don't know bad until you hear about my in-law shenanigans this week.
so let me fill you in a little.
after what hubby refers to as "textgate" i did receive a couple more texts from SIL asking me if i had called hubby's mom cuz she's sick. I ignored them and as a result she sent me a voice mail from her phone which basically told me I was being a bitch (she had already sent texts to my hubby stating as much ... that I was being a "bitch to her for no reason" ... so this wasn't a surprise) and she continued to state that we needed to help take care of hubby's mom cuz everyone else was.
I ignored everything and it all stopped.
Last week hubby received a vm from his brother (remember, these are the truck incident people) telling him that he doesn't know why hubby's mad at him and he's done nothing wrong and he's gonna miss out on his nephews if he doesn't call him back. And oh! they're moving to another city and Mom is moving in with them cuz they're the only ones willing and able to take her in. And if hubby doesn't call him tonight then bro won't give hubby their new address or phone number and therefore he won't be able to see their mom OR his nephews.
So hubby doesn't take kindly to this emotional blackmail of sorts and he doesn't call. And we had another nice quiet week devoid of stressful family relations.
Until last night.
Hubby got home around 10Pm last night. I heard the car shut off and it took awhile before hubby actually got out of the car and came in the house. He told me that he had just received a voice mail from his brother (the same one) and he didn't know what to make of it and he wanted me to listen to it. So I did.
the vm as best I can recollect (paraphrased of course)
"here's MY cell phone number xxx-xxx-xxxx so you can call me. We're getting ready to move blah blah blah by the way you have no right to be mad at me and Jaz has no right to be made at me. If we were a bank we would have taken the truck alot earlier than we did. We've always been there for you and we always will. And you're missing out on your nephews blah blah blah and you haven't called dad since he's been in the nursing home and h's the man that raised you and treated you no different than his own son and you should show some respect cuz he adopted you* blah blah blah You completely fucked us on the Bonneville** and you fucked us with the truck. and dad died last night. I wasn't gonna tell you, but there it is. hope you feel guilty that you never called him and told him you loved him and now it's too late. And i guess HER family is more important than your family and she's keeping you from your family so we see who wears the pants in your house it sure isn't you. you still fucking owe us money. No one's ever gonna love you as much as we, your family, do and you better call me tonight if you ever want to see your nephews again or find out about dad."
i hung up the phone in a daze. hubby's dad was dead? And they weren't going to even tell him? And of course I was pissed about the "you owe us money" and "we didn't do anything wrong" bullshit, but hubby's dad died and it took you 24 hours to call your brother and then you say it in passing as if it's nothing! And you weren't going to call him to let him know!?!
My heart broke.
Hubby was quiet and said he wasn't gonna call his brother. He got mad that they weren't gonna tell him and decided at that moment he wanted nothing more to do with his family if they were gonna be like that. I stopped him and told him that he should call his mom. Even tho they don't talk alot, he is her eldest son and she needed his support in a time like this.
Hubby agreed but waited to call her. Then he actually voiced doubt that what his brother had said was even true. So I suggested we call the nursing home in the morning to find out information. He didn't want to wait. So I googled and he called.
He didn't have the actual room number his dad was in, so at first they did alot of putting him on hold and transferring him to other people. He finally got a floor nurse and she took his number and told hubby "I think he's sleeping. I'll call you back in a few minutes and let you know" Hubby hung up the phone even more dazed and confused. Sleeping?
His phone rang about 10 minutes later. It was his dad.
So yea. Now I don't know what to do. And now you see what we have to deal with.
* When BIL and I had the huge phone fight he kept hounding on the fact that hubby and dad were blood and there's nothing that tops that connection and I made the mistake of bringing up the fact that hubby wasn't biologically related to their dad. This wasn't in malice - cuz I'm not biologically related to my dad - it was simply said in a heated discussion to shut him the hell up.
** When a previous car we owned died in 2005, right after we bought the house, BIL let us purchase his 1976 Pontiac Bonneville (which had so much rust the floorboards on the passenger side were almost gone and it leaked a waterfall when it rained and it wasn't painted, just bondo). And he "gave us a deal" of only $1500. When it was time for our wedding we still owed $250 on it - he and his wife told us that we didn't have to pay the last payment - it was their wedding gift to us.
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