Google Search: male blonde hockey

*sigh* I have been thinking of an old old bf that I had many moons ago so much these past few days i can't even stand it. Since Saturday. His name was Steve Palmateer. His uncle was Mike Palmateer, the amazing goalie for the Toronto Maple Leafs. I met him at a bar drinking Labatt's. I was the bartender at Fort Street Station. He was so cute and had this amazing French-Canadian accent. We started seeing each other. It probably wasn't a really good relationship as i look back on it, but man he was HOT! He was a hockey goalie (just like his uncle) I remember the first time I saw him without his shirt on I seriously gasped. He had such an amazing body! I still don't understand what he was doing with me. I was so out of shape at the time (this was around 1996/1997) Maybe it wasn't really a relationship, who knows. I mean he knew stuff about me and I knew stuff about him and we didn't ALWAYS fool around when we saw each other. He worked at Ford's if I remember correctly. I found his old pager number once. I almost called it. this was about 3 years ago. Right after I started seeing Kevin I think...or maybe during the move last time. I have been thinking about him so much I am almost CONVINCED I'm going to see him somewhere soon. I have half a mind to go to Mr. E's or JR Pub to see if he shows up. That's where we used to go hang out together. I've googled him both as Steve Palmateer and Etienne Palmateer and I can't find any pictures or anything about him anywhere. *sigh* Just a picture and I'd be happy. Kinda like Aaron Craig. I can always look at his tripod page and remember that I once had him. And it makes remembering so much easier.

I think Steve was in my dream this afternoon. It was a dream loosely based on Hellboy....very strange...I don't remember all the details and the ones I do wouldn't make sense, but I remember a guy that I met and fell in love with and we were originally on opposing sides, but we ended up on the same one and then he got shot and died. He had vital information and was consequently ressurected for a short while to give the info on where we could find something needed to beat the bad guys. I didn't know this but someone showed the item to me and I gasped and he pointed me over to this guy and I went over with tears in my eyes (think princess bride type ressurection) and kissed him and he told me "confidentially i never even raised the _____" (it was some funky word we used for gun) and I said back to him "Confidentially neither did I" and we kissed again like there was no tomorrow and then he was gone. Then I woke up. And now all i can think of is Steve again, which leads me to believe it was him in the dream.

I wish I could visually record my dreams.
*hugs*